Sitting in the car, while my girl is in sign language class, reflecting on this past weekend. It was an weekend that I’m still pondering the emotions that flowed through me. It was a trip that I was excited about for months. It was something that I wanted to do with my girl for years. And yet as the time came close to travel I became apprehensive about it, how I would handle the changes that took place there since the last time that I was there, as well as, the changes that had happened to me since our last visit. So where did I go? What was going on for this trip, you ask? A place called…

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!!!

I grew up outside of Pittsburgh. I was born there. I lived there until I was 14. I love the Steelers still to this day.

What prompted the trip was my cousins wedding. At the very moment that I received my “save the date” notice, I planned on going, no matter what, no matter when, no matter how I would get there, I was going! Come hell or high water, nothing was going to keep me away from that occasion. It was the motivation that I needed to get me to that place.

I hadn’t been to that place in 15 years, my girl was 10 months old and we had gone to my grandmothers funeral. I knew seeing my Pap and Nanny’s place would be difficult as it was no longer their place. The property belonged to someone else and the place would be changed on so many levels. Another thing that changed was since I had seen my family from those parts, I had become a widow and didn’t know how it would affect them that it was just my girl and I. I didn’t know if they would notice the gaping hole that had been healed in us. or if they would miss him or just not notice all together.

But each if these things caused my apprehension on those days getting close to our departure. But also for me the excitement kept growing.  Seeing familiar scenery caused me to be teary eyed as I drove those last miles to our hotel. Excitement is what motivated our getting up early to head to Mt Washington to take pictures over looking the city of Pittsburgh. It is so beautiful up there. Hannah took it all in, breathed in the city and surrounding area. Looked through new eyes as she saw it for the first time that she could remember.

Excitement is what took us to our hotel early to check in and get close to the Oakland area for the wedding rehearsal. We were getting excited about seeing the family, my aunt and uncle, my cousins! I was going to be able to hug and see with my eyes family I hadn’t seen in over a decade. I was excited to be able to see them and hug them but would they be as excited to see me and hang out with me and talk to me about their lives, people that hadn’t seen or talked because of distance and life. But one thing that happened when seeing each other was love over took it all. The years melted and tears of joy took over realizing how we had missed each other so much.

Then the party began,  we talked and hugged and met the bride and all the distance of life just diminished.  I will say that my girl and I stayed with the family, we didn’t venture out to meet other people, we just wanted to spend time with the family to get to know them again, to be able to share life stories, and to just be in each others presence.  Each of the boys spent time individually with me and I even think we left the weekend wishing for more time together.  I have come home kind of depressed because I want more of that weekend.  More of the scenery, more of the familiar childhood feelings, and more of the family.  The town where I grew up has changed and looks different, they all told me, but I saw everything the way it was in the past.  I enjoyed showing my girl my town, schools, and landscape of my childhood, which is so different from the way things are in Georgia.

I am so thankful to Jesus for allowing me to experience this weekend and all that it entailed.  I have heard people say about “you can’t pick your family but you can pick your friends and make them family”  I am so glad that I have them as family and hope that we shall see each other much sooner than last time.